The Healing Power of Anger
Working with the Element of Fire
Photo by imso gabriel
We may first think of anger as an emotion. It has the power to overcome us. It can engulf us. It can be difficult to control. We might feel that we need to control it, lest it do harm. It can make us feel like “we aren’t ourselves.” It can make us feel like “we’ve lost our minds.” It can make us feel obsessed, when we aren’t able to release it. It can be mixed with feelings of hurt. It can burn like fire.
We can forget that anger is also an energy.
Getting to know the energetic make-up of anger can help us see it in a neutral light, as neither a “good” nor “bad” emotion. The more comfortable we get with the energy of anger, the more we can learn how to tap into its unique healing power. And we can learn how to release it in ways that don’t perpetuate inherited cycles of harm (to others or ourselves).
Anger has a similar energetic frequency to passion, righteousness, and also high productivity. Even though the texture and tenor of (and bodily responses to) each of these energies are different, we can think of them as sharing certain qualities of: bigness; speed; clear, sure movement (though our thinking might not be clear when we are feeling them); and heat. They each call up physical sensations that press against or challenge an edge…. (whether the edge of our comfort, our control, etc. )
Anger can sometimes be mistaken for passion. It can also merge with righteousness, as when we feel “righteous anger” at injustice. Some of us might feel excitement in response to anger’s bigness, even alongside fear, and we might become hooked into the drama of it and find we need it to feel alive. Or, its fast-moving energy can feel like relief, especially from emotions that make us feel passive or stagnant.
Anger can make us feel powerful; though it might also make us feel powerless to control it.
Like with the energy of big productivity, we can hide within anger’s quick action and use it to avoid being still with ourselves. And if we have been feeling stuck and unable to experience the flow of high productivity, it might take anger for us to clear whatever is in the way of us taking action, though we might end up burning some bridges along the way.
Anger motivates us to act.
Anger is a big energy; like fire (and passion), it is a hot-feeling energy that is capable of motivating action, moving mountains (when directed and released), and transforming physical matter. (Think: wood to ashes)
The energy of anger sits in contrast to the energy of sadness, which has an energetic frequency like water, and which can soften and relax us. Sadness can create internal space for healing when we allow it. While anger motivates us to act (whether or not those actions are what we want to do, ultimately), sadness motivates us to pause.
Many of us had childhood experiences that taught us that anger is not safe.
Anger’s fiery and fast-moving energetic makeup can make it feel frightening—whether we are the one feeling angry, witnessing anger, or receiving it. Cultural taboos tell us that anger is a “bad” emotion. Many of us had childhood experiences witnessing or receiving anger that was released in a chaotic and unhealthy way, which have led us to (unconsciously) decide that anger is dangerous and causes harm, and which have made us afraid of our own anger.
Some of us have developed coping mechanisms that repress anger so thoroughly that we never feel angry, even when it’s justified. Instead, we might feel numb in place of anger (leaving our bodies before anger has a chance to engulf us in its flames), or we might turn inward and feel depressed or alone or self-critical in place of anger.
Some of us might have become people pleasers to avoid conflict and potential anger.
If we learned to be afraid of anger, we might have become people pleasers to keep the peace at whatever cost to ourselves, avoiding conflict and the possibility of someone else’s, or our own, anger.
Working consciously with the element of fire can help us become more comfortable with the energy of anger.
Working consciously with the element of fire can help us become more comfortable with anger’s energetic make-up, so that we can learn to sit with it, rather than avoid it, leave our body before we have a chance to feel angry, or release anger immediately by taking it out on someone else, feeling like it’s “out of our control.”
Getting to know anger on an energetic level, and how it feels inside us, can help us learn to manage our anger without trying to control it or repress it.
FIRE ELEMENT EXERCISE
Find a quiet spot and light a candle. You might want to have a note book or audio recorder nearby to jot down notes about your experience.
For this exercise, find a quiet, comfortable spot by yourself, and light a candle. Make sure you take all safety precautions when working with the element of fire. You can also do this exercise with fire in a fireplace or campfire.
NOTE: This exercise is NOT about hurting yourself or “seeing/proving that you can take the pain.” This is about learning to sit with what emotions and thoughts come up for you as you observe and work with the flame. You will NOT be asked to touch the flame.
Observe the flame. What can you feel or sense about its energy? Is it fast or slow? Warm or hot or icy? Is its movement smooth or jagged? Chaotic or organized? What comes up for you in your body as you observe this from an “outside” perspective?
Close your eyes and imagine yourself merging with the flame. What do you feel in your body? Is there movement? Stagnation or stuckness? Where in your body do you feel the energy of the flame the most? Does it travel? What’s the speed of the energy? Does your heartbeat quicken? Are there any emotions that come up for you? Any excitement? Fear? What happens to the quality of your thoughts? Do they become sharper? Quicker? More or less focused?
Using your imagination, imagine the candle flame getting bigger. Slowly imagine the flame growing and growing….What gets called up in your body as the flame becomes bigger in your imagination? Is there a point where excitement turns to fear? Is there a point where the flame feels like “too much?” What do you notice about what is happening in your body as you sit with that imaginary flame that has crossed a comfortable line? Can you sit with your discomfort a little longer? Or if you turned away from the image at any point, can you gently return, with curiosity about your body's response?
Open your eyes and hold your hands out in a cupping position on either side of the flame, at a comfortable distance from the flame, similar to when you might warm your hands by a fire. We usually become aware of the warmth when we reach our hands out to warm them by the fire, but what else you do feel as you do this? What does the energy of fire feel like against your palms? Your arms? The rest of your body? What emotions or thoughts come up for you? What memories?
Now, making sure that you are are safe (again, this is not about harming yourself or seeing if you can “take the pain”), move your hands a little closer to the flame, though still at a comfortable place, so that you can feel a little more heat. Continue to check in with yourself about what comes up for you in your body, your emotions, and your thoughts.
Move a little closer, using your judgment about what is safe for you. Continue to get to know the energy of fire, as well as your body’s response to it.
Take some notes (or make a voice recording) of what came up for you today.
The next time you feel angry, see if you can recognize any similarities with your experience with fire energy.
Continue to practice getting to know the energy of fire and your body's response to it, as many times as you feel called to do so.
And if you feel ready, the next time you feel angry, go someplace quiet and observe what is happening in your body—do you recognize any physical sensations, emotions, or thoughts from your exercise with the candle?
The more you are able to sit with the energy of anger and observe what comes up for you when this energy moves through you, the more you can learn how to manage it, tap into its healing power, and listen to the information it has for you.
